Hello Lovelies, 

We hope your 2021 is off to a great start! While the weather is cold where we are, we know there has been a lot of cabin fever due to the state of the world. Here’s to a safer and healthier 2021! During this time we have been able to focus on us, and one thing that has been brought up a lot that couples are facing is communication. When reading and hearing stories about daily life and communication, it was a reminder that you have to have great communication in your daily life, in order to ensure you have great communication in the lifestyle. With the pandemic taking a toll on some relationships, we are mindful to give each other space and alone time as a couple, as individuals and as a family. We recognize that there is also something special about having extra time with your family, lunches together and more. We were just talking over the weekend how we feel it has brought us even closer. With some good news on the horizon with vaccines and more, we are hopeful we will have some sexy lifestyle fun again soon. 

Before we jump into the topic we wanted to give a huge shout out to our sexy friends Andi & Dave over at Double Date Nation. They recently launched an app version of their sexy lifestyle site for both Apple & Google Play. We know this was a huge undertaking and we are happy to see all of their hard work come to life! They are such a wonderful and sexy couple we consider friends. Be sure to head over to their site, sign up and try out their site and app today. Don’t forget that you are able to get 3 months free with promo code Swanilla

We also wanted to send a special farewell message t to Paige & Penn from The Swinger Diaries Podcast as they announced recently that they are ending their podcast and going into podcast retirement. They have made it clear that they are still in the lifestyle and will be attending several fun events going forward. Their podcast has always been a go to for us over a glass of wine and they brought up topics and situations that we never thought of. We have referred to their podcasts several times as topics may come up. They also provided us with some invaluable advice when we were planning our first trip to Desire about 5 years ago. You guys will be very missed in the lifestyle podcast community. There are a ton of great lifestyle podcasts out there, but yours really held a special place during our own journey. Thank you guys for the countless hours of entertainment, education and advice. At the end of the day, all we can do is take advice from any content creator, see what works and make it your own. We hope to see you guys soon!  


Image provided by: @swingermemes 

One of the topics and advice you hear from so many in the lifestyle is the importance of communication. This is two fold, as when people hear this, they may think it means communication between them as a couple. While this is true, and an important part of any relationship, having great communication with new friends and/or potential play-partners is also another important area. We’ve been to events where we completely missed cues, clues, hints and signs that a couple was into us. Subtle comments were made, and just went right over our heads. In talking about communication it made us think back to the some areas where things went really well. Then we thought of an instance where things didn’t go well at all. And lastly things went very sexy. This led us to communication in the lifestyle: the good, the bad and the sexy! 

The Good

We had attended an event and met some very sexy couples throughout the evening. We had a lot of fun dancing and chatting with some fun people and sharing some laughs. Later into the evening a couple we had chatted with approached us, and invited us to their room for a drink. We hadn’t discussed anything as a couple that sparked anything further with them, so we were caught off guard a little bit. But it does feel good to be asked from a couple to have a drink for more quiet discussions and to get to know them better. We all went to their room, and had some cocktails. We went with an open mind, but between the two of us we hadn’t given any indication to them or to each other that we were interested. We hadn’t given each other our signal that we are open to something. After hanging out for a bit we said our good nights. The following day we discussed that we thought we were good on our communication and came up with some ideas on how to communicate better as a couple and with others that may be involved. We realized we had to be more mindful on our communication as a couple and with others going forward. 

The Bad

While at Desire resorts we had a great time as a couple, and met so many wonderful friends. Friends that we stay in touch with to this day, and are excited to see again. When you go to a larger event or resort you sometimes are able to chat with people ahead of time on various platforms. It’s a great way to see pictures of other couples, learn names or even hear a couples story, and if anything you have a friendly face to recognize at the event. A friend of ours was running this group platform and there was so much positive and fun energy leading up to the event. We were all going to be there the same week, and had just had a fun time going over outfits, theme nights, and more. Sometimes couples may message other couples, and perhaps see if there is any interest in setting up a dinner or grabbing a drink? As long as everyone is respectful, and mindful this seems like a great way to express some interest to a couple. You really don’t know what will happen unless you ask right?  

What became a problem was a gentlemen of a couple that were attending, started emailing several of the ladies privately. They weren’t innocent messages like “hey can’t wait to meet you guys, would love to grab a drink!” They were very direct messages on what he wanted to do to them, see them do, and were pretty vulgar. Think of an anonymous internet chat room, it was like that. Some of our new friends reached out to us, and asked us to say something. We sent a pretty short but direct message to him, and started questioning if he was even going to Desire, as the photos of them as a couple, seemed off for a few reasons. As a group we asked them to resubmit their information and keywords to verify they were indeed going to the resort. The pictures changed, and communication was very odd the last couple weeks before the trip. Most of us in this group were there the same dates, and this one couple only had a three day overlap with most of us. We all were curious if they would actually show up and be who they said they were. Sure enough a few days into our trip, some friends said “the mystery couple is here.” We were all curious, was there just bad communication on their part? Did they know the type of resort they were signed up for? Did he drag her along? Was it a misunderstanding from all of us? We are all human after all. At one point we had seen them, and we thought let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. Another day went by and we bumped into him at the pool bar, and said hello. Asked him what he thought of the resort? It was very small talk, and we got pulled into another direction from some friends that were waiting on us to head to the jacuzzi for hot tub time. 

The next day some friends of ours told us they ran into the mystery couple the night before, as it turned out they were two rooms down from them. The lady was wasted and passed out in bed, and the guy was asking our friend if he wanted to sleep with his wife? He explained that he hadn’t even met her yet, let alone there wasn’t any connection to go off of. He said “look, my wife is right there, asleep do you want to wake her up, do you want to have sex with her?” Our friend explained to him that he was going to bed, and told him that this is not how any of this works. We couldn’t believe this when our friends told us this. But in an odd way, it started to make sense. Then the incident happened. The day started like any other day with light music, late breakfast, and the ocean breeze with the sun. We were looking forward to another fun day in paradise. Around mid-afternoon when many of the guests may have had a few drinks in them, and the pool was starting to be the happening place, there was some commotion. Then we heard several cuss words from the wife to the husband, and she was screaming to get out of the pool, that she wanted to go home, that he was a terrible person and more. To this day we have no idea what happened. Some of our friends left after they did and said they didn’t see them at all after that. The suspicion among a few groups of people is that he may have talked her into a ‘topless’ resort and she had no idea the type of resort it was, or he tricked her into going. Something didn’t add up, and we realized this had to be communication that had gone badly for a very long time. 

The Sexy

While there are examples of times when things didn’t go well on the side of communication, misunderstandings or missed opportunities due to lack of communication. We also have many examples of sexy situations, play times and experiences where communication was great, and the stars aligned. We were at an event with some sexy friends we had met there. We had a nice dinner ahead of time, great conversations and had some laughs together. As we all went to the event together we had fun on the dance floor, but also enjoyed flirting with other couples. As the evening went on, there was a passion and mood between everyone. As the mood struck, we all made our way to a playroom that was on site. We found ourselves on a large play area with our friends and another couple that was flirty on the dance floor. As we all were starting to have fun, we all felt comfortable letting the evening play out. It was a very sensual and hot experience that we whisper to each other occasionally while having sensual pillow talk. The big difference was that communication was clear on what everyone’s rules and preferences were and we all had a wonderful time. It could also have been chemistry and mutual respect among some people you have known for some time as well. Who knew communication could be lubrication!    


Mr. & Mrs. Swanilla