Hello Lovelies, 

We hope everyone is doing well and staying healthy and safe as covid19 is still a real threat to so many people. We were bummed that Podcast-a-Palooza (PCAP) that was rescheduled for October in Miami has been officially canceled, but we understand why.  Health and safety is a real concern and it’s hard to be in a sexy mood, in such a fun environment with so many sexy friends and have to maintain proper guidelines. One of the many things that we have found in this time of hitting pause on certain aspects of life and adjusting to our daily life of remote work, and homeschooling for our kids, is our ability to enjoy new and flexible schedules to be more engaged in several areas of life. We are able to focus on professional and personal goals while still having more quality family time and time as a couple. 

With our sexy lifestyle fun on pause until 2021, we have been able to take this time to set new goals in the area of health and fitness. As a couple, we have both been working out, exercising more, and getting into much better shape. Not just our bodies, but clarity in areas of life that we would get to ‘someday’.

This led us to talking about this topic for some time now, Becoming more Fuckable in your 40s

While we have always been very mindful of health, fitness and nutrition in our twenty plus years of marriage, there have been times where we just had a bad day or week and shit the bed in terms of fitness routines or eating habits. Life happens with 60-70-80 work weeks in peak seasons, kids activities, and the ability to crash and try to recover as much as possible on the weekends. This led to not the best food decisions, grabbing for one more beer or glass of wine as a way to decompress. This was in normal times and when you add in a global pandemic, it can make things much worse, or you can shift your mindset and embrace the gift of time so many have been given. 

Since we both became 40, we noticed several things about ourselves. Not just the traditional, its harder to get into shape at 40 then 30, but we noticed how connected we have been in our sex life. It may sound cliche, but we truly feel like our sex life is like wine, that gets better with age. We have noticed over the last couple years how in-tune we are with each other, and connected. While making different fitness and nutritional decisions we noticed a shift in our sex life, for the better! From quickies whenever we can, to date nights, to intense naughty and dirty sex with whispers that would make many couples blush, to very long romantic nights together, our sex life has hit a new and different level in a very sexy way!!!

We have talked about it and have tried to pinpoint what it was. Was it the fact that we are done having children? Or that our kids are now getting somewhat older, and more independent, that we can go upstairs to our room at 7pm and know they are fine on their own? Was it attending sexy lifestyle events the last few years? Was it getting in better shape as a couple? Being in the best shape and feeling healthy as a couple for the first time in well over a decade? Having an accountability partner to be there when you feel like giving up or taking a ‘day off’? Were our libidos in sync and matched? Was Mrs. Swanilla hitting a sexual level in her 40s that many guys have in their 20s? Was it that Mr. Swanilla really enjoys different fashion styles, and Mrs. Swanilla loves it when he has on a sexy new shirt or looks yummy in a suit? Has our communication gotten better (we always thought this wasn’t possible)? Is it a combination of all the above?

One thing we know that works for us, is to never stop dating or stop dancing! Never stop dating the one you married or the one you are with. Holding doors open, sending flowers and making each other feel special in several ways is always appreciated. Another thing we know that also works for us, is that we both really make an effort. Not just trying to get and stay in shape, but to look nice, sexy and hot for ourselves and each other. It helps that we both have a fun fashion eye and we both enjoy dressing nice for ourselves and each other. This seems to be common in many vanilla events, and has spilled over to the lifestyle in certain areas. This is a topic and area that has been mentioned on many lifestyle podcasts – She’s hot, he’s not. She made the effort to look sexy in a dress, or outfit at an event, and he may have thrown something together last minute. Now, this isn’t a blanket statement on everyone, just an observation we have seen on more than a few occasions. We were at one event, in a sexy environment and so many people were dressed and looked sexy and sharp! We noticed a couple, where she was really made up, had on a sexy dress and her husband had on tennis shoes at a club style event. Believe us, we love lazy days in sweatpants on the couch, but love dressing up nice. When we see a couple that are put together it can be a real turn on. They both made an effort, dressed nicely and made up for the event or setting. You don’t have to spend a ton of money on clothes, and it is mostly an effort of finding your style and trying new things.

These are all things that we have discovered that have made us more attractive to each other, which has led to more intense sexual experiences, that makes us feel we have become more fuckable in our 40s than our 30s! Have you and your spouse/partner done things differently as you have entered your 30s, 40s, 50s or 60s? What are some ways you have become more fuckable? We would love to hear what has worked for you!


Mr. & Mrs. Swanilla