Hello lovelies, 

We hope you are all doing well and are having as sexy of a summer as possible. 

We have been enjoying family vacations and other things that were on our bucket list of things to do this summer. While we would love to be heading back to a sexy club, resort or event in the near future, we have sadly had to cancel our first lifestyle cruise this fall. We were bummed, as it had been a few years in the making, and we were looking forward to seeing several sexy friends and making new ones. We are hopeful 2022 is a sexy and fun year, and is full of ‘revenge’ travel and parties!

While we haven’t been able to do much traveling, it has been nice to reflect and communicate on what we enjoy and would like to do going forward. It is very sexy to have intense sexy Swanilla pillow talk while thinking of some sexy memories we have enjoyed when there has been a connection. This got us thinking about some of the sexy times, it also led to conversations and reflections on when the connection just isn’t there with another couple. 

We were at an event where we saw several sexy friends and met many new couples. Everyone was having a great time on the dance floor. Between a few cocktails, dancing and other fun activities, it was just a great night all around. The night was starting to get late and a couple we had chatted with earlier, asked us if we had plans. They invited us to their room and asked if we would like to come up for a drink. Now, while there wasn’t any pressure, we hadn’t had a chance to talk or check in with each other to see if we wanted to go upstairs for a drink, or go upstairs for a drink and maybe more. We agreed to go upstairs, and had a strong sense of knowing we were on the same page, of something NOT happening. We danced, and shared many laughs with this couple throughout the course of the evening. However, there wasn’t any flirting and if there was, we didn’t pick up on it at all. The couple was really nice, with some fun stories, but the attraction just wasn’t there. We hadn’t led them on (from our perspective) and spent more time with other couples we were friends with or met that evening. After we all had a cocktail, we let them know that we had a fun time chatting, but it was time to call it a night. The couple was very sweet, polite, warm and people we would be happy to share laughs with again.

We know there are some great lines to use when someone asks you if you are interested in going to a more quiet place, if you are interested in taking things a step further, or if they are honest, and ask “would you be interested in playing?” We have heard some great examples from friends, and also on some great lifestyle podcasts. One line that Mrs. Swanilla has used “I am very honored, but not tonight” or “We are honored, but the feeling isn’t mutual”. This is of course with a warm and caring tone, and her sexy eyes. How does Mrs. Swanilla let some down while being sexy at the same time? 

While there is always a way to perhaps let a couple or individual down gently, and we know how nervous people can be, we have been there too. No one enjoys rejection. We always try to approach things on how we would also want to be let down. There is a way to do things in person, and then a way to do things online. This can be tricky as context and tone can be very easily misunderstood with online platforms. 

In the online world, there was a couple who reached out to us on a lifestyle platform that was local to us. They mentioned they were in town and would love to meet sometime. In reviewing their profile at first glance, there were a few things that made us notice and a few red flags went up. The profile kept saying our hometown, and then another town well over a thousand miles away. We noticed this changing every month or so. We know and understand when people travel it makes sense to update your town to find potential sexy friends who may be headed to a club or event, or want to meet for drinks. However, after reading their profile in more detail we realized there wasn’t a potential match for a few different reasons. We responded with a polite message that there appears not to be a mutual connection. The reality was we were looking for very different things, and found it best to send a message letting them know. They responded saying thanks for letting them know. We felt this was a nice way to respond and not give anyone the wrong impression. I am sure if we bumped into them at an event they may be a nice couple. 

However, we have noticed in recent months they continue to reach out on a regular basis, letting us know they are in town. We had never engaged in conversations, flirts, photo likes, met at an event, etc. At one point, we received a message explaining while they were a ‘couple’ they were more fuck buddies and got together to have fun with each other and meet at other couples. While there are pros/cons to this, it depends what you are looking for. We have found ourselves more attracted to couples in a committed relationship, with a solid foundation. 

There are so many great stories and tips on sexy and playful times, that we thought it was a good idea to share how best to communicate when there isn’t a connection. 

What are some ways you have let a couple/individual know there isn’t a mutual connection? 

What has worked or not worked for you and your partner(s)?

Be sure to share via Twitter @BeyondRbedroom or send us an email!


Mr. & Mrs. Swanilla


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