May is National Masturbation Month – Give a Hand

May is National Masturbation Month

May 1 marks the first day of Nation Masturbation Month.

*Repost of article not our content

If you didn’t know this, you’re not alone. The annual observance is not high profile. In fact, the most coverage masturbation has received may have been back in 1992 when Jerry Seinfeld and his cast mates brought up the taboo topic during a Seinfeld episode. In one of the first scenes, character George Costanza’s mother catches him masturbating. The four New Yorkers then entered into a contest to determine who could go for the longest period of time without masturbating. However they couldn’t say the actual word on primetime television, so the euphemism, “master of my domain,” was born. No one won.

So how does a hush-hush subject like masturbation get a month of its own? It started in 1995 in San Francisco as a response to the forced resignation of U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders. After a speech at the United Nations World AIDS Day in 1994, an audience member asked Elders about masturbation’s potential for discouraging early sexual activity. She answered,“I think it is something that is part of human sexuality and a part of something that perhaps should be taught.”

That was the end of the first black Surgeon General’s Washington career, but the beginning of National Masturbation Month. The founders of San Francisco based sex toy and education shop Good Vibrations said, “Enough is enough!” They wanted to do two things: keep up the conversation about Elders unjust firing and make people talk about masturbation.

Good Vibrations recognized many people needed support and advice about the very act of masturbating. One of the first things they had to do is provide reassurance. They made sure people knew it was okay to masturbate in the first place. For so long, shame and stigma have been attached to masturbating. Yet the truth is it is an activity so commonplace, natural, pleasurable and healthy it is said “ninety-eight percent of us masturbate, and the other two percent are liars.”

Since then, Good Vibrations has held annual events used as public health education programs to increase awareness of self-pleasure as a strategy for safer and healthier sex and to de-stigmatize masturbation. Their events have also worked to get people to talk about the act, instead of giggling or remaining silent. After all it is the ultimate in safe sex.

So go ahead, celebrate National Masturbation Month!

Stacy Lloyd is a writer and video producer in Phoenix, Arizona. A former television news journalist, she covered stories around the world. Currently, she produces corporate and non-profit videos and broadcast programming.

The Light switch vs. The Iron

During our journey into the lifestyle, we have noticed an increase in our sexual appetite and the amount of sex we have. It started about a year or so after we were done having kids and we were finally catching our breath and our footing on being parents, juggling our careers and connecting as a couple. We knew we were done having sex to have kids and it was time to focus on us.

As we were in the middle of the chaos of parenting life we decided to make it a point that every Friday night we would have a date night. We knew we weren’t really going out that much being new parents. So we made the best of it and realized that Friday nights would be our way to have the kids in bed early, put something sexy and comfortable on and enjoy a bottle of wine together. We knew this was our date night to connect. Let’s be honest, date night is code for having sex.

This led to excitement throughout the week. We had something to look forward to, a goal. Leave work at work, try to have the house clean as possible (a major turn on for both of us), and make every effort to be ready for a fun night of connecting and passionate sex. It was these hot and passionate nights that led to maybe having a little too much wine and us whispering to each other about our fantasies and being honest of what may be on our mind. It took a lot of time to talk through things.

However, even though we had our set date night, it didn’t mean we only had sex one night a week. Sometimes we had spontaneous sex or realized we had 10 minutes and had a quickie. Perhaps it isn’t always sex with fireworks but maintenance sex at times. But one thing has been constant for years for us, and from what we have heard from others is men and women are wired differently when it comes to sex. Now this is our experience so your relationship may differ.

One thing that we talked about for years is the light switch vs. the iron. It’s a metaphor that we heard years ago, very early in our marriage. We heard a saying that men are like light switches, where you just flip the switch and they ‘turn on’ and they are ready to go. Women are more like an iron, where you have to not only plug the iron in, but allow the iron to warm up. Without proper preparation, the iron won’t work if you don’t allow it time to set, warm up and adjust the proper settings. It may sound like a silly analogy but it is something that has stuck with us for well over twenty years at this point. Each person may be different, but for us, the “iron” warms up when the house is clean, the room is set for a nice night, a nice glass of wine is served. Sometimes it’s a slow build throughout the day. In the middle of cleaning the house on a weekend you lean in and kiss your partner on the cheek. You whisper something sweet or naughty in their ear. You do the laundry and fold the laundry as well. We know the iron vs the light switch analogy is not a measure of all men or women by any means. But it really stuck with us in terms of making things work for us.

Traditionally there are two big topics that couples argue over, finances and sex. While we are happy to share that we read up on our mutual fund performances over our coffee. We can fully admit we have had disagreements on how we initiate sex.

We have been married over twenty years and together even longer and there are times we will be having a discussion about sex and Mrs. Swanilla will say “how long have we been together? Did you forget that a clean house or dinner ready for the kids pretty much gets me in the mood?”

We have talked about this over the years and have wondered what works for others? Is analogy true? Do you approach things differently? What does your partner do to help set the mood or what could they do more often to get you in the mood more often?

A New year, New experiences & a cold winter

Hello Lovelies,

We hope everyone is off to a sexy 2019 and having fun staying connected and warm during these winter months. We have been doing everything we can to stay warm in this deep freeze we have had the last several weeks here in the Midwest. With subzero temperatures, we found it very easy to slip into bed naked to use our bodies to stay warm! We spent our holidays with family and catching up. We thought of a lot of our sexy lifestyle friends who were having a naughty new years eve. We would love to have a naughty new years even one year. Perhaps we can figure something out in the next couple years. It’s very difficult to find an overnight sitter for NYE at this point. We did however have a very sexy naughty stocking day. We decided to both take the day off, and order in and made a complete day of our naughty time. Mrs. Swanilla got a great gift that she had always talked about and was very excited that she thanked me in a very sexy and sensual way! It was nice to have such a great day, opening sexy gifts, listening to podcasts, and just talking, and having passionate sex several times.

With the new year comes a lot of exciting things that make getting through the winter just a little easier.

We are excited that we’re headed to Naughty in N’awlins (NIN) for the first time this July. We have talked about going for a few years and have heard many friends in the lifestyle and on podcasts talk about how fun it is. We found out some friends of ours are going and it’s always fun to see them at events and resorts. There is a Podcasters & Bloggers Meet & Greet on the second day that we are happy to be part of. It will be great to meet some podcasters that we have been listening to for years and bloggers that we have been reading for some time now. It looks like there are a lot of podcast groups going this year. Swinging Downunder, Swinger Diaries, Average Swingers, Our Naughty Escapades, Two to Tango, Torrid Souls, Sex Uninterrupted, Casual Swingers, and We Gotta Thing. It will be fun to meet so many great podcasters that have not only given us some great stories and entertainment over the years. But also forced us to hit pause several times and ask each other some deep and meaningful questions. About the lifestyle, about us a couple and some good takeaways on growing and communicating.


This is our first trip to New Orleans so we are excited to see some of the areas and check out some great watering holes and restaurants. From what we have read and listened to, it seems like there is so much to do that it can very overwhelming and a lot to take in. We heard on one podcast that if you go one year just to party, check out fun seminars and sexy parties, and go another year to see the landmarks, architecture, etc. its a great way to balance things out. We will try to do a mixture of both as there are some cool things we would like to see while there. But also know there will be some great seminars and friends we would like to connect with – old & new.

We are very excited with what 2019 has in store for us and looking into new clubs and events that sound really exciting. We are also excited to be posting some great stories and sexy thoughts with all of you.

PS – We wish all of you sexies a very naughty valentine’s day this week!

Hugs & Kisses,

Mr. & Mrs. Swanilla
Beyond Our Bedroom

Welcome to Beyond Our Bedroom – New Website

Hello Lovelies, 

We are excited and happy to announce that we have a new website for our blog now up. We converted our old site over to a new platform and it took us a lot longer than expected. We only had so many hours per week we could set aside to work on it due to life being very busy the last couple of months. We have some great changes up with our layout, design, links of our favorite things, and new content coming on a more regular basis. 

Please feel free to let us know your thoughts. If something seems off or not clear on mobile, vs. tablet or laptop please send us a quick message to let us know. We are still tweaking a few things behind the scenes. 

We also are excited that we have a partner site TooTimid. We have tried out a few products and will have more reviews cumming soon!

Hugs & Kisses,

Mr. & Mrs. Swanilla