Hello, Lovelies,

Well, it certainly has been a bit since we last posted an update. We hope all of you are doing well, and that your spring is off to a sexy start!

With demands on our time between family time, sports activities, renovations, and our career goals (delightful deadlines, & work travel) it has been a challenge trying to find balance. While it has been a minute since our last update, we certainly have enjoyed attending lifestyle events/clubs, traveling for sexy fun, and working on ourselves.

We spent part of 2022 doing what so many others have been doing, revenge travel. We were able to take a couple of family vacations, including some trips that we were able to cross off our bucket list. After the last couple of years, it was nice to recharge.

Looking ahead, we have some sexy plans for 2023 and are excited to be headed to Miami in October to attend Podcast-A-Palooza. Miami has been on our bucket list for a long time, with so much culture, great food, and of course great music! This trip should be a great time.

While we certainly have been busy, we were able to sneak away to a lifestyle club that we had wanted to check out for a long time. We had traveled to a fun city in the southwest in 2022, and it was the first time we had been alone as a couple since the world changed in 2020. We were ready to be a couple, have some alone time, and enjoy sightseeing in the city. After a nice dinner, we were able to head back to our hotel room and get ready for a night out at the club. As we got into our uber, we were filled with excitement for the evening. Dancing, tasty cocktails, being out as a couple, and headed to a sexy environment. We have been to a handful of lifestyle clubs and were excited to see what this club was like. We attended on a Friday night, as we had other plans in town that weekend and Friday was our only chance to attend an event.

As we arrived, there was a small line to get in. As we made our way inside, we checked in, and we were on our way. We noticed there were a few single guys that were let in, and the dress code was not really being enforced. We knew single guys were welcome this night, but it caught us off guard how dirty gym shoes, and jeans that looked like you just mowed the lawn, would pass the dress code to a club known for sexy standards. We thought at one point they were staff dropping off supplies or something.

This aside, as a couple in the lifestyle, we know single guys have a barrier to entry to many clubs and events. For us, attending clubs and events on nights when single guys are welcome isn’t a big deal. It seems the well-dressed gentlemen, (or dressed properly for the occasion), polite, respectful, and understanding boundaries, may have an easier time meeting others. You know, being a gentleman. But it does catch us off guard on occasion to see guys with little to no effort in putting themselves together. While we aren’t Ken & Barbie, it is a great feeling to be dressed up or dressed for the event.


One thing that did stand out, was the staff upon check-in, seemed stressed out, perhaps overworked or short-staffed. They knew we were new to this club, and a tour of the club was never offered, and it seemed a little impersonal. It did catch us off guard, as with so many lifestyle clubs and events, the hosts and staff, especially during check-in are really warm, inviting, and welcoming.

We made our way into the club and went to the main area and had a cocktail. We took in the energy and the vibe and noticed a couple nearby. We started chatting with them, and it was fun to learn their story, and how they approach things. Learning a couple’s stories on how they got into the lifestyle always intrigues us. They told us that it was a little slow, as it was a Friday night, and Saturdays are typically busier. They encouraged us to come again on Saturday for white night theme night. While we had plans, we couldn’t break on Saturday, we did try to figure out how to make our way back to the club late Saturday. We realized we didn’t pack outfits for both nights. That was a lesson learned for us. Always figure out the theme nights for the day before/after or surrounding events to have a few outfits to be able to make it to an event on really short notice.

As we were chatting with this couple, a couple of guys walked over and struck up a conversation with the four of us. The guys were flattering and complemented the ladies. He told both of the guys, “we were really lucky and that the ladies looked beautiful.” He explained it was his birthday, and pointed to the area where his party was with their friends and ladies. We didn’t think much of it. They let us know they were celebrating a birthday, and we were welcome to join them at a table for a drink with their significant others.

After dancing for a bit, we let the couple know we were going to take our tour of the club.  We walked around the hallway and noticed a few play areas, and wanted to look at the rooms and see what they looked like in case the mood strikes later. It is a larger club than it appears. After making our way through the self-guided tour, we followed a hallway back toward the dance floor. This led us right into the area where the birthday boy had his party. He was happy to see us and introduced us to a few friends, and their girlfriends/wives. He asked us to stay and do a shot for his birthday, and celebrate. Being the playful and fun couple we are, we said sure. One thing about us is that we like to party and both can go with the flow or go with the party easily. Those of us that know us, know this to be true. This doesn’t mean playtime is guaranteed by any means. We will party with just about anyone, as long as they are respectful, polite, and nice.

We were introduced to one couple in the group, who admitted to everyone they were very new to the lifestyle.

Mrs. Swanilla: The lady asked me how long we have been in the lifestyle, and how I approach things, “The great thing about the lifestyle is that you are in control of your own journey, you decide what works and what doesn’t. It really is what you make it, plus it also provides a sense of empowerment and makes me closer to my husband.

Mr. Swanilla: “Yes, I remember talking to the new couple, as you were chatting with someone else, and asked them how they decided to get into the lifestyle. They both said out loud at the same time, “Well we both cheated on each other and thought this would make things more transparent, and this way we do it together.”

A few of us heard this and thought they were joking, and realized quickly that they were not joking, and the red flags started popping up.

Unfortunately, as things heated up for a bit later this evening, we experienced our first violation of consent and trust. We will go into detail next time, as part 2, and that is more of a conversation between us as a couple on what happened, signs that were missed, lack of respect that took place, and our thoughts on going back to this club.

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Mr. & Mrs. Swanilla


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