Games that help swingers break the ice…

Hello Lovelies,

We are excited to let you know that we have teamed up with the creators of the sexy card game The Game of Lifestyle to bring you a sexy game to use for your sexy encounters. We are hoping to try out our new set this summer at some sexy events with friends old and new. We will be happy to post a review of this sexy and fun game!

The Game of Lifestyle The Swinger card games designed specifically for couples in or exploring the swinger lifestyle. This is the game that has been known to lead to sexy playtime! Click the banner and use promo code BOB10 to receive a 10% discount

A Desire Reunion in Canada! O Canada!

Hello Lovelies,

Hope everyone is staying warm now that winter is officially behind us and spring is here. As the summer months approach, we are very excited to be going to Naughty In Nawlins and possibly some other events to see friends old and new. Speaking of friends old and new, one of the things that attract us to the lifestyle is not just the sexy and playful times with like minded people, but the friendships that naturally develop over time. When you are able to spend quality time with like minded people especially in a setting like Desire where you have a  few days together with very hot, incredible, and sexy experiences that took us to a different level in our journey into the lifestyle, we knew something “clicked” on this trip.

As we have written about in past blog posts, during our last trip to Desire we met some wonderful people that have become friends and some friends with benefits. We stay in touch with most of them as well through certain social media platforms and although most are several States away, we sometimes laugh at things together and know we all have a shared sexy secret. It makes it difficult at times when you hang with your vanilla friends who we love dearly, but when they call it a night at 10pm on a weekend night during a 40th birthday party, you realize some of your vanilla friends can’t keep up in just a fun night out atmosphere.

Even the rest stops are fun in Canada

As we said our goodbyes to our new friends in Desire we knew we would see them again, and it was just a matter of when and where. After a few months of chatting online sharing some laughs and missing each other, a good friend of ours from New York mentioned it was her birthday in a few months and we should celebrate. We all looked at our calendars and figured out logistics of when and where. We would meet in Toronto to spend a wonderful night together with each other. We had friends driving in from New York, New Jersey, and our Canadian friends flew in from Edmonton to Toronto the day before. They just happen to bring their sybian machine with them. And we drove in from Detroit. As we made it to the hotel,  we were checking in and got settled. As we walked to our car to grab a few things, we bump into our Canadian friends who had flown in the day before. Turns out they were coming back the liquor store with drinks, snacks and their suite was right next to ours. This would be very convenient later that night!

The plan was a fun afternoon to see everyone, hang out for a bit, and get all cleaned up and head out for a birthday dinner nearby, then to a sexy lifestyle club to celebrate our friends birthday. As everyone made their way in, we all hung out in the suite and just caught up with everyone. We shared pictures and news of our families, life, and more. As we had group conversations and smaller conversations between everyone it hit us that while we may be States/Countries away these are people we would hang with in our normal day to day life. If any of them found themselves in our city, and wanted to hang we would do our best to be available. All of them would also know to push pause on the lifestyle if vanilla friends were with us as well.

What’s funny, is Mrs. Swanilla and I were talking about how friendships can blossom in life and of course the lifestyle. We joked and said isn’t it funny we have friends that we share such naughty, sexy secrets with? Sometimes shared experiences, sometimes not. But that you have a bond and mutual understanding about the rules of lifestyle. We laughed as we said “we don’t even know any of their last names” but feel closer to many of them than other friends in real life.

We had such a fun time in the afternoon, but there was no sexual play, but a lot of open discussions about sexual things. Just fun to catch up, have a couple drinks, some snacks and just to see everyone. We did inspect our friends sybian machine. Their suite had two rooms, the sybian room and their private room. As we all had laughs and some of us got a little tipsy we realized our window for a fun dinner out was slowly closing, as everyone needed to start getting ready. Someone suggested, why not order take out and have it delivered so we didn’t have to be rushed. We checked with the birthday girl and all decided to stay in so we could have dinner, catch up and still get ready for the club.

After we all got ready we meet in our friends suite before heading out to the club. As we enter we see a couple we didn’t recognize and had to do a double take that we were in the right room. But they had the look and vibe that they were headed to the club. We introduced ourselves and realized there too were from a nearby town in Canada and had met our friends from Edmonton about a year earlier in Desire as well. Turns out we know and have mutual friends in the lifestyle. As many have said, the lifestyle is a sexy but also small community.

Hands roaming everywhere at the club & hotel

We all ended up at the club and had a great time dancing, and having fun in our area that we all hung out in. It was the first time to this club for two of the couples, and they were impressed. They had many stories and mentions of the club from friends, podcasts and our own blog. As we danced and celebrated our friends birthday throughout the night, we asked the birthday girl if she was interested in going to the back room to celebrate. We all undressed and headed to the back playroom. For the newer couple who had never been to a club like this, they were very impressed and had to jump right in. We realized we may have waited just a little too long to head to the back room. It was difficult to find a spot on the massive bed, let alone get comfortable. As we all were standing there naked, some of us kissing, some doing more, someone asked the group if we would like to go back to the hotel and try out the sybian machine? We all got dressed and headed back to the hotel.

Once we got to the hotel, we had sexy music on, some grabbed a drink and others freshened up. As everyone was getting comfortable, I realized I had to grab something from our room next door. I mentioned to Mrs. Swanilla that I would be back but she was in her element and comfortable with friends. I came back about 5 minutes later and Mrs. Swanilla was sitting naked on the couch along with a couple friends. I walked into the room and noticed comfortable she was. In a weird way, it reminded me of Desire, being naked with friends, comfortable and just a lot of smiles on peoples faces.

So many toys, so little time…..

After a few minutes we all headed to the sybian playroom, and our friends showed us how it worked, the various attachments and how it can sound like a jet taking off. We also had brought several of our toys and had them with the sybian. The ladies were excited and maybe a little nervous as it was most of the ladies first time on a sybian. The ladies slowly got on the sybian and took turns enjoying it. Slow to medium, to slow, to faster, to a friend sitting in front of them while they were on the machine having fun. After each lovely lady had a turn, and usually several orgasms, Mrs. Swanilla jumped on again for round two. As we all enjoyed the show, a friend jumped up with her and the two of them had fun. Before we realized it many of us were naked in bed with lots of yummy things happening. Mrs. Swanilla became “the birthday cake” for our friend the birthday girl. As everyone was enjoying themselves, the night was slowly winding down as we approached 5:00am. Many hugs while naked, high-fives and many late night snacks. As we left our friends room, I noticed Mrs. Swanilla walking back to our room holding a couple of her clothes, as she slowly walked naked to our room. We were really close in the hall, but I mentioned to her the next day, “seems like we are ready for our first hotel takeover?”

The next morning was pretty rough with everyone, and the majority of everyone had 4-8 hour drives home. Our friends had a 3.5 hour flight home later that afternoon. We decided to all go out to brunch and just catch up a little more. As we enjoyed our brunch and said our goodbyes, we all had kisses, longer kisses and hugs and fun whispers of what do the people sitting around us think as we all our kissing everyone goodbye. It was a long drive home but a wonderful trip to see everyone and celebrate our friends birthday with her.

This was a really fun trip to see good people and it truly was a Desire reunion. We were bummed a few other friends weren’t able to make it. But when people are spread out all over the country or other countries, it does make it challenging at times. There is a talk of another Desire reunion this fall, with a few friends looking into flights already. It would be great to see everyone again.

Hugs & Kisses,

The Swanilla’s


The Light switch vs. The Iron

During our journey into the lifestyle, we have noticed an increase in our sexual appetite and the amount of sex we have. It started about a year or so after we were done having kids and we were finally catching our breath and our footing on being parents, juggling our careers and connecting as a couple. We knew we were done having sex to have kids and it was time to focus on us.

As we were in the middle of the chaos of parenting life we decided to make it a point that every Friday night we would have a date night. We knew we weren’t really going out that much being new parents. So we made the best of it and realized that Friday nights would be our way to have the kids in bed early, put something sexy and comfortable on and enjoy a bottle of wine together. We knew this was our date night to connect. Let’s be honest, date night is code for having sex.

This led to excitement throughout the week. We had something to look forward to, a goal. Leave work at work, try to have the house clean as possible (a major turn on for both of us), and make every effort to be ready for a fun night of connecting and passionate sex. It was these hot and passionate nights that led to maybe having a little too much wine and us whispering to each other about our fantasies and being honest of what may be on our mind. It took a lot of time to talk through things.

However, even though we had our set date night, it didn’t mean we only had sex one night a week. Sometimes we had spontaneous sex or realized we had 10 minutes and had a quickie. Perhaps it isn’t always sex with fireworks but maintenance sex at times. But one thing has been constant for years for us, and from what we have heard from others is men and women are wired differently when it comes to sex. Now this is our experience so your relationship may differ.

One thing that we talked about for years is the light switch vs. the iron. It’s a metaphor that we heard years ago, very early in our marriage. We heard a saying that men are like light switches, where you just flip the switch and they ‘turn on’ and they are ready to go. Women are more like an iron, where you have to not only plug the iron in, but allow the iron to warm up. Without proper preparation, the iron won’t work if you don’t allow it time to set, warm up and adjust the proper settings. It may sound like a silly analogy but it is something that has stuck with us for well over twenty years at this point. Each person may be different, but for us, the “iron” warms up when the house is clean, the room is set for a nice night, a nice glass of wine is served. Sometimes it’s a slow build throughout the day. In the middle of cleaning the house on a weekend you lean in and kiss your partner on the cheek. You whisper something sweet or naughty in their ear. You do the laundry and fold the laundry as well. We know the iron vs the light switch analogy is not a measure of all men or women by any means. But it really stuck with us in terms of making things work for us.

Traditionally there are two big topics that couples argue over, finances and sex. While we are happy to share that we read up on our mutual fund performances over our coffee. We can fully admit we have had disagreements on how we initiate sex.

We have been married over twenty years and together even longer and there are times we will be having a discussion about sex and Mrs. Swanilla will say “how long have we been together? Did you forget that a clean house or dinner ready for the kids pretty much gets me in the mood?”

We have talked about this over the years and have wondered what works for others? Is analogy true? Do you approach things differently? What does your partner do to help set the mood or what could they do more often to get you in the mood more often?

A New year, New experiences & a cold winter

Hello Lovelies,

We hope everyone is off to a sexy 2019 and having fun staying connected and warm during these winter months. We have been doing everything we can to stay warm in this deep freeze we have had the last several weeks here in the Midwest. With subzero temperatures, we found it very easy to slip into bed naked to use our bodies to stay warm! We spent our holidays with family and catching up. We thought of a lot of our sexy lifestyle friends who were having a naughty new years eve. We would love to have a naughty new years even one year. Perhaps we can figure something out in the next couple years. It’s very difficult to find an overnight sitter for NYE at this point. We did however have a very sexy naughty stocking day. We decided to both take the day off, and order in and made a complete day of our naughty time. Mrs. Swanilla got a great gift that she had always talked about and was very excited that she thanked me in a very sexy and sensual way! It was nice to have such a great day, opening sexy gifts, listening to podcasts, and just talking, and having passionate sex several times.

With the new year comes a lot of exciting things that make getting through the winter just a little easier.

We are excited that we’re headed to Naughty in N’awlins (NIN) for the first time this July. We have talked about going for a few years and have heard many friends in the lifestyle and on podcasts talk about how fun it is. We found out some friends of ours are going and it’s always fun to see them at events and resorts. There is a Podcasters & Bloggers Meet & Greet on the second day that we are happy to be part of. It will be great to meet some podcasters that we have been listening to for years and bloggers that we have been reading for some time now. It looks like there are a lot of podcast groups going this year. Swinging Downunder, Swinger Diaries, Average Swingers, Our Naughty Escapades, Two to Tango, Torrid Souls, Sex Uninterrupted, Casual Swingers, and We Gotta Thing. It will be fun to meet so many great podcasters that have not only given us some great stories and entertainment over the years. But also forced us to hit pause several times and ask each other some deep and meaningful questions. About the lifestyle, about us a couple and some good takeaways on growing and communicating.


This is our first trip to New Orleans so we are excited to see some of the areas and check out some great watering holes and restaurants. From what we have read and listened to, it seems like there is so much to do that it can very overwhelming and a lot to take in. We heard on one podcast that if you go one year just to party, check out fun seminars and sexy parties, and go another year to see the landmarks, architecture, etc. its a great way to balance things out. We will try to do a mixture of both as there are some cool things we would like to see while there. But also know there will be some great seminars and friends we would like to connect with – old & new.

We are very excited with what 2019 has in store for us and looking into new clubs and events that sound really exciting. We are also excited to be posting some great stories and sexy thoughts with all of you.

PS – We wish all of you sexies a very naughty valentine’s day this week!

Hugs & Kisses,

Mr. & Mrs. Swanilla
Beyond Our Bedroom

Welcome to Beyond Our Bedroom – New Website

Hello Lovelies, 

We are excited and happy to announce that we have a new website for our blog now up. We converted our old site over to a new platform and it took us a lot longer than expected. We only had so many hours per week we could set aside to work on it due to life being very busy the last couple of months. We have some great changes up with our layout, design, links of our favorite things, and new content coming on a more regular basis. 

Please feel free to let us know your thoughts. If something seems off or not clear on mobile, vs. tablet or laptop please send us a quick message to let us know. We are still tweaking a few things behind the scenes. 

We also are excited that we have a partner site TooTimid. We have tried out a few products and will have more reviews cumming soon!

Hugs & Kisses,

Mr. & Mrs. Swanilla 

Nominated for the Best Lifestyle Blog 2018 & New Affiliate Program

Hello Lovelies!

We are very excited and honored that we have been nominated for Best Lifestyle Blog at the 2018 Annual Lifestyle Awards. We are humbled that we’ve been nominated yet again, and that many of you are enjoying our sexy stories on our blog. We consider this a fun and creative outlet to share our journey and stories and it’s pretty special to be in the same category with so many other great lifestyle blogs.  If you have a chance to head to the web page linked here and feel we made a positive impact or you enjoy our posts and think we are worthy of your vote please vote for us here: Annual Lifestyle Awards

There are also categories for Best Lifestyle Podcast, Best Lifestyle Resort, Best Lifestyle Clubs, and Best Lifestyle Educators. While we have our favorites, each podcast, blog, educator, resort, club, etc. offers something for just about everyone in the lifestyle or those that are curious to learn more.  Regardless of the outcome we feel we have already won, as we have heard from so many sexy readers here and on twitter that have told us they enjoy our blog and the topics at hand. Thank you!

We are also excited that we also have teamed up with the fine folks at TooTimid They have been very easy to work with and we are happy to work with such a sex positive company that understands the needs couples may desire for sex toys, lingerie, lubes and more. Plus they have been around for almost 20 years and understand the need for discretion.

We will be posting reviews of products and will be offering additional coupon code discounts here and via twitter. We have our first two reviews below. Be sure to check them out through the link on our blog or in this email. In the meantime feel free to use code 121810 for 10% off any order.

TooTimid – The Romance Company, focuses on enhancing the sexual well-being of women and couples. Through education, advice, discussion and various sexual aides, TooTimid makes a positive impact on women and couples around the World.

Founded in 2000, was initially a simple website for people to purchase items they may be too embarrassed to buy in person. Today, with thousands of educational articles, product reviews, product videos and a message board for like-minded people to discuss a variety of topics, TooTimid has evolved into a leading company catering to people who wish to improve their intimate relationships.

Review of the Double Delight Masturbator 

Mrs. Swanilla and I received this toy and we weren’t sure what to expect. We have had a few similar ones over the years. Many were “free” toys that were included in the purchase of other toys for her. Almost as if they were after thoughts to throw a sleeve into the box after ordering a new vibrator for her. After a few uses they started to rip apart and just didn’t hold up. It’s like the product developers leave out the toys for men? However, we both were excited to use this. I was curious how it would feel and she was excited to use it on me and see how fast it would make me cum. She also was intrigued by the teeth in the mouth area. We started to make out and she told me “I want to see you how your new toy feels!” We got it out and she lubed me up. As she was getting me ready she really examined the toy to see how realistic it was. One side has the mouth with teeth and the other side has the pussy look and feel. She rub her fingers on the pussy side and then stuck her in tongue in it and said “wow, pretty realistic”. She proceed to lower it on my cock and asked me how it felt. I was surprised at how great it felt. The pussy side felt very realistic and she could see it in my eyes that it felt very good. She switched sides and had me try the mouth side. This felt great! It wasn’t as tight as the pussy side and felt very realistic. This was such a great sensation that we use it on a regular basis in our play. She enjoys using her magic wand on herself while watching me using this double masturbator up and down on my cock. This toy makes me cum very fast and I fully recommend picking up one for yourself!

We will have an upcoming post featuring a review of a new toy that Mrs. Swanilla tried out and will offer her sexy thoughts.

Hugs & Kisses,

Mr. & Mrs. Swanilla
Beyond Our Bedroom