Excited for our first trip to Desire!

We are so excited to be headed to Desire Rivera Maya for our first lifestyle vacation in just a matter of days. To say we are excited is an understatement. We have maybe a little bit of nervousness, but overall we are feeling great! We have spent the last several months having long conversations about the lifestyle and our journey into it. What we are comfortable with and what we are unsure of. We both know that there are certain things that we may not know how we feel until we do it and see how we like it. We aren’t nervous being naked throughout the day or being around sexy and like minded people. Talking to new couples and hopefully making new friends and learning what works for them and what doesn’t sound good to us. You can only learn so much from a short time at a club, or chatting with others online at sites like Kasidie, SDC or Twitter. So taking the time to learn about others journey is something that sounds like a lot of fun.

It has been a lot of fun just relaxing in bed and talking about so many topics, fantasies, and possibilities without fear of resentment or judgment. It doesn’t mean we both have to agree to each and every detail. But the lines of communication being open and honest are just a very sexy turn on.
Reading the Desire forums together, we have learned a lot and there are some really great couples on there that have explained things in detail and shared their stories as well. 
It has been fun getting ready for our trip on many levels. Trying on sexy outfits and costumes is always fun! We have spent so much time shopping for our costumes for theme nights that it was fun just looking together for what we liked and thought the other would like as well. Our theme nights seem like they will be a lot of fun! We have a glow night, masquerade night, sexy uniform and dress to impress, on top of dressing sexier than normal for dinner. It feels like a weeklong Halloween party all rolled into an exotic and sensual resort where we can explore our comfort levels throughout our trip. But just being along and having couple time at such a sexy resort sounds so relaxing as well. We can’t wait to just enjoy a walk on the beach, having tasty beverages, laying in a beach bed and taking a nap to the sounds of the ocean. Sleeping in, and just really being a ‘couple’ and enjoying each other. Everything else that may or may not happen is just a cherry with sprinkles on top!
Look for a full trip report when we return!
XOXO

Mr. & Mrs. Swanilla  

We are headed to Desire & a Hot Sensual Story!

Hello Lovelies,

We are happy to announce we are taking the plunge and headed to Desire for the first time this summer! After talking about a few ideas for a sexy trip we settled on Desire Riviera Maya. To say we are nervous, anxious, excited, and ready to be naked for a nice vacation is an understatement. This is our first time to a clothing optional resort and a resort that has this amount of sexiness with it.  


One of the sexiest things we enjoy is having a glass of wine in bed, or in front of our fireplace and listening to one of the many sexy podcasts we enjoy, reading up on the possibilities of Desire or catching up on an episode of Swing on Playboy TV. All lead to great and sexy conversations. Sometimes it’s very hot to have these conversations with sexy porn on in the background (volume turned off) and having sensual music playing. It is very hot to be talking and both notice the TV just at the right time, and  we both stop talking and just watch for a few minutes. We LOVE to watch, and be watched! And are looking forward to watching a lot of sexy couples at Desire!

One of the many things we do to prepare for any sexy event at a lifestyle club, or our trip to Desire is to have not only deep and personal conversations on our likes/dislikes. But to be 100% honest with each other and tell each other what we would love to see while on vacation, or anywhere where we can be sexy and sensual with each other without judgement. This is what attracts us to the lifestyle in general. The openness, the mutual respect from others, the sexy secrets we all share, and seeing other couples that love each other and want to experience things together in a judgement free zone. As we have said before and others have said, there is no ‘right or ‘wrong’ way to be in the lifestyle.


Keep reading for a true sensual story…..

Recently, we were discussing the possibilities of our first trip to Desire. No expectations, just open and honest communication, without fear of anything, just honesty. Which lead to open and honest Desires being shared while having those sexy pillow talk moments as the mood strikes. While discussing several ideas, we both were very turned on and ready to play.

I started slowly kissing Mrs. Swanilla and caressing her body. Before I knew it, I was on top of her and slowly grinding away at her. As I was on top of her, she begged for me to go down on her. I kissed her mouth and slowly started kissing her body when she grabbed me and pulled me up to embrace me before I went down. As I put my arms around her, she grabbed my hard cock and started to put it inside her very hot, wet and juicy pussy. I let her do it and after just a few seconds and pulled it out to tease her! I proceeded to slowly go down on her and slowly start kissing her tits, moving towards her stomach, as she started to open her legs wider and wider until I could see all of her wetness just waiting for me. I slowly started kissing around her sweet spot when she furiously guided my face and tongue into her juicy pussy. I kissed her lips very slowly, with my tongue going slowly in and out of her pussy and the sounds she made were so sensual. Each lick and movement with my tongue she moaned a little harder. After a few minutes of hearing her moan while she was begging me to fuck her, I slowly got on top her, and entered her pussy. There was no reason for her to suck me to get me wet, (or hard) it just slide nice and easy right in.


As we started to fuck very sensually, we kissed and she told me how good it felt. Within a few minutes she started to cum. She was cumming so powerful and I could tell her orgasms were very intense. She always has intense orgasms and is very multi-orgasmic. But I could tell she was very turned on, by the third time she was cumming I felt my cock get very wet as she came all over it. After cumming four times all over my hard cock she slowly rolled me over, and slowly kissed my chest and body all over, until she reached my cock. She took my hard, throbbing and wet cock from all of her cum and proceeded to suck it very slowly. She was going up and down very slowly and had her beautiful eyes just slowly stare at me with my cock in her mouth. Mrs. Swanilla has the sexiest fuck me & suck me eyes. She started to go faster up and down my cock with all of her pussy juice being licked and sucked up by her. She couldn’t believe how rock hard I was. I whispered “I wonder why?” (Sexy conversations of our Desires while my beautiful wife is sucking me tends to get me rock hard!) I held her beautiful black hair up for her so it wouldn’t be in her way as she was starting to go faster and faster and she could hear my moans getting louder as she made eye contact with me.
Not us, but a familiar look

Mrs. Swanilla loves to suck me until I cum and this time I didn’t need to say anything as she knew my hot cum was about to be shot down her throat. As I started cumming I could feel myself cumming very intensely and it seemed way more than normal. I knew I had cum a lot when I was moaning as I was cumming and she made that sound of “hmmmmm” like she could barely handle how much I was giving her. She knows how intense it feels right after I cum, and at times she has to stop because it’s so intense. This time she proceeded to keep sucking and licking after I came which made me feel so good! As soon as she was done, she climbed up on me and we slowly embraced in a passionate kiss while staring into each other’s eyes and we both said “that was so hot, and so intense!!!!” WOW! Just typing this out is making me very horny!  

Until next time…..


Be sure to check out two of the newest links we added to our blog and the sexy song we enjoyed during play time recently!


The first is The Daily Climax by the lovely Dahlia. She has many reviews on toys, and sexy erotic stories!


The second is Open Love 101 from Jackie & John. They own two lifestyle clubs in New Orleans and Dallas. Jackie & John also have a great blog and video podcast via their YouTube link. They discuss so many great topics related to the lifestyle and having a great relationship in general. If you check out their webpage and listen to their advice, it will be time well invested for your own relationship.
PS – Be sure to listen to this sexy song we enjoyed during playtime recently! We challenge you to listen to this and see if the mood strikes!







Our review of the Sex Show in Toronto & more….

Hello Lovelies,

Mr. & Mrs. Swanilla here! It sure has been awhile since our last post, but better late than never. We wanted to share how our trip to Toronto was for the Everything To Do with Sex Show & The Sexy Halloween Party at the XClub!
We drove from Michigan to Toronto through a down pouring of rain for almost 3.5 of the roughly 5 hour trip. It sucked at times, but being with each other and having couple time alone, and be able to have sexy conversations and catching up on sexy podcasts along the way made the ride much more enjoyable. After getting to the hotel in the early afternoon, and relaxing for a few minutes before checking in, we cleaned up and headed out (in the rain again) and went to downtown Toronto to the Enercare Centre for the Everything to Do with Sex Show. We weren’t sure what to expect. Would it be sexy? Would it be classy? Trashy? It was actually pretty cool and within the first 25 feet of walking in we realized this was not your normal convention or trade show that you attend for professional or career related reasons. We made our way through so many sponsors and companies that were offering some very unique and cool products, toys, and clothing. We watched the sexy lingerie show and also attended some workshops. We were able to see JessicaO’Reilly (or Dr. Jess)  from Playboy’s Swing and other programs. She gave a great workshop on Hotter Oral Sex for Her 
Her husband was there passing out information and let us say, they are one sexy and hot couple!
One thing we noticed while walking around in the afternoon with some of the guys walking around (it was noticeable for both single guys & guys as part of a couple), that they were dressed like complete slobs. I mean, you are not headed to a club, but there are a lot of sexy people in a semi-sexual environment, talking about and discussing sex in all types, shapes, and so on. You are able to see many sexy women in one environment, some professionals and many hot looking ladies that were attending. It just seems you would want to make a bit more of an effort to look half way decent and not like you just rolled out of bed.
After spending most of the afternoon walking around the exhibits and seeing demonstrations (the Sybian machine was to die for!) and grabbing some sexy swag we decided to head back to the hotel to get ready for our fun and sexy Halloween party at The X-Club.
After dinner and cleaning up we got dressed in our sexy costumes, had a cocktail while getting ready and were ready to head to the club. Now, we noticed a few families with kids and stuff that were staying at the hotel as well as many of the guests of the X-Club. When checking in at the hotel, you kinda of just know who is there for the party. It must be a sexy vibe, look or smile we put out there! Once we were dressed and ready to go Mrs. Swanilla had me walk downstairs to make sure there we no kids and stuff in the common areas as she was dressed in a very sexy and revealing costume as Bat Girl! I went as Clark Kent. It was after 9:30pm so I assumed no kids would be around.  I scoped the area and we had the all clear. Mrs. Swanilla had very revealing bottoms that were beyond short shorts. She asked to wear my suit jacket to help ‘cover’ a few things at least on her way out of the hotel. At first I was like, “Are you sure? You’re fine, there is nothing to worry about, just other X-Club guests downstairs and in the hallway all laughing and looking sexy!” But it made sense after talking for a minute. So she had on the sexy costume, high heels, and my sport jacket as we got into the elevator. All was good. As soon as we get to the first floor, the doors open and there are three small kids, with mom, dad and grandma all standing there in towels as they just got out of the pool and were headed to their rooms. Our faces had to be priceless, but not as priceless as the dad, as his mouth was on the floor, even with the cover up of the sexy costume, he could tell we weren’t going out for tea!  After we walked out of the elevator, we both started laughing and had our funny WTF moment. Within a couple minutes we were in the shuttle with a few other couples on our way to the XClub for their annual Halloween party.
Once we arrived at the club, we were surprised to see the red carpet rolled out, and a larger tent set up and a classy hostess that greeted us and verified a few things. This was great, as the year before we were outside for a long time waiting to get in. One thing we noticed this time as we were checking in was two single guys approached the club. The hostess explained to them that there we no single guys allowed for this event. We overheard one of the guys say “I called earlier and they said it was fine”. A minute later a bouncer walked over and handled it very professionally. It’s not that we have anything against single guys per se. We know that many couples enjoy having a single guy and there are some nice gentlemen out there who probably make great connections for those desires and fantasies come true. It’s just that the year before there were a few guys who we thought were ‘single guys’ and they walked to the back room and proceeded to stare at us going at it. It’s all about class and being polite.

Once we were inside the club and got a drink and just took in the wonderful sights around us. The club looked great with all of the decorations and fun cocktails. We got into the groove pretty early and hit the dance floor and saw some very sexy things on the dance floor. The whole environment was so sensual. From the DJ spinning tunes to the extras such as the violin player & conga player that performed alongside with the DJ. After a bit on the dance floor we recognized some friendly faces that we met a year earlier at the Halloween party. We chatted with them for a bit and they introduced us to some of their friends.
On our way to the playroom
As the night progressed Mrs. Swanilla and I really started kissing on the dance floor along with touching and getting into our groove. Seeing the sexy ladies dance topless next to us and watching sexy costumes slowly being taken off on the dance floor was making us very hot. Once we saw a lady standing on the dance floor getting a quick lick on the pussy from another lady as several of us on the dance floor watched. It became sensory overload. Mrs. Swanilla grabbed my hand and we proceeded to the back playroom. There was a slight line to the locker room. We then changed out of our costumes, got naked with everyone else and headed to the playroom. As we slowly walked into the playroom we took our time as a couple to walk into the main play area and slowly notice others all around enjoying themselves. It was very hot to hear and see all of the action amongst the others in the room, especially when everyone was at all different levels of play. You would walk a few feet and see and hear someone finishing in the sexiest of sounds to watching two couples lay on a bed next to each other that were just getting started in a hot foursome. Watching them slowly kissing on each other and it turning into more was so hot!  Side note:  Many guys and some couples dress as skeletons with face paint for Halloween. While it may be cute to a degree, we found it somewhat odd to watch a couple guys naked in the playroom with skeleton paint on their face while they were having fun with their partners. It just seemed odd, to us at least. But whatever does it for ya!

We proceed to the farthest playroom (there are two playrooms all connected by a large window ) which is mainly one large bed to accommodate at least 12-15 people. We took in the vibe there and stayed for a few minutes. We weren’t feeling the sexiness as much as the other room so we went back to the main playroom. At this point we had been walking around with towels around us for about 5 minutes but it felt longer as we took in the atmosphere and tried to find an open spot on a bed or couch.  Mrs. Swanilla saw a sexy couple signal to us that they had room on the couch for us to join them. We walked over and I whispered if they had room for one more (just to be sure) he said “of course”. Mrs. Swanilla sat me down on the couch and slowly dropped to her knees. As I started to

Sexy Swanilla’s

look around to see all of the sexy things happening around us, Mrs. Swanilla started to kiss me and slowly stroke me as this hot couple next to us were in the middle of playing. Before I knew it Mrs. Swanilla was sucking my cock in a very sensual way. She always gives great blowjobs but this was different. I think all of the sexiness around us just made her perform differently. She knew she was being watched by others and did she ever give them a very nice show to look at! While all of this was happening the couple next to us was really having fun. There was no talking or a connection really between us or we didn’t see them on the dance floor that we could remember, so we laid down and started to fuck really hard. We both were watching all of these sexy people around us and wanted them to watch us and us watch them. One thing we noticed was as the playroom was filling up with more people, the staff was stretched. As there is someone in the locker room to give you your private locker and also someone up front to guide you to the private rooms or answer any questions you have. Once you enter this area, its pretty much understood that you have to be naked in the playroom. If you go to a private room you can change in there. The private room is separate from playroom. As we were playing on the couch, I noticed a few guys walking into the playroom fully dressed in their costumes. After about a minute or two, the girl from the locker room, stopped them, and said they had to go change or back to the dance floor. This made us feel better. One of the many things we like about the playroom is that it’s a level playing field. Everyone is naked or has some lingerie on. Having others fully dressed just walking around starring isn’t sexy. Having others walk around while they are naked and want to watch for a minute, very sexy!

After a few minutes of being sucked Mrs. Swanilla sat down on the couch next to the couple and asked me to lick her. Thinking of some of the new oral techniques that Dr. Jess was sharing with everyone earlier in the day, I was happy to do so! As I was busy licking we heard the girl next to us screaming as she was cumming. Then we heard her say “I am squirting I am squirting” it was very hot to be right next to them as this was happening. The guy made a joke afterwards that he had worked so hard in the last hour that he was glad she came. We all had a little laugh and giggle. They excused themselves after and we had the couch to ourselves.

After a few minutes we switched positions and I sat on the couch and Mrs. Swanilla started to ride me reverse cowgirl. Just as we started to find our groove, another couple sat next to us. To say it nicely they weren’t the most attractive. But that wasn’t what bothered us. We know we come in all

shapes and sizes, but the lady got on top of him and they started to argue with each other in a different language. Based on their tone, it didn’t sound like a sexy conversation. So it started to be a mood killer, but we were close and within another couple minutes we both came and it was very hot to be in front of everyone while we had a very hot moment. We made our way back to the locker room and changed back into our costumes. We went back to the dance floor, danced for a few more songs and grabbed one last drink and headed for the hotel.

The next morning, we woke up and had very passionate and hot sex thinking of all of the sights and sounds that surrounded us just hours earlier. We got ready and went to the hotel lobby for breakfast. What’s funny or another way you can tell you are in a hotel with a bunch of swingers or lifestylers is when you go to the breakfast buffet, almost every couple that was dressed half way decent or had on sexy and cute sweat pants and more. Compared to the regular hotel guest that showed up unshowered, bed hair, and generally sloppy looking. We noticed as we drank our coffee which tables had couples from the night before to the ones that did not. Because there were a mixture of vanillas, including families and kids, there were just a lot of smiles, winks and laughs. Everyone seemed very respectable of their surroundings and it was fun to see all of these people who all shared a hot evening together in some way or another, from the dance floor, to compliments on costumes to the playroom and back to the dance floor.
 As we go through the journey of learning our place in the lifestyle we are certain we are definitely voyeurs and exhibitionists. We love watching and being watched while we play. Everything else is just a bonus! 

Overall, we had a great time as a couple. It was a nice weekend away and it was fun at the sex show and we recommend anyone attend at least once, as they are in a few different cities. The Halloween party is just one of the biggest parties of the year and it was so much fun this time. 

Back in the Swing of things!

After a long summer of mainly vanilla activities we are excited that we are able to get away soon for a sexy weekend this October! We are headed back to The X-Club for their annual Sexy Halloween Party on Saturday Oct 24th. After attending the Halloween party last year we couldn’t resist going again this year. Our biggest challenge right now is trying to decide on what sexy costumes to wear. One thing we learned last year, is that less definitely is more! It will be exciting to be around such sexy people again in such an open minded environment. Between all the sexy costumes, dancing and flirting, not to mention the hot scenery and sounds in the back play areas, we are ready for a nice naughty weekend! 


We found out last year that the annual Everything To Do With Sex Show is the same weekend. We were bummed we couldn’t make it last year. So we planned it just right this year, and are going to the show on Saturday as a warm up before the big event back at The X-Club. Just being around such a large crowd of open minded people with no judgement in such a sexy environment seems like the perfect way to help get in the mood. We are excited to see everything it has to offer and seems like a very sexy, classy and fun time! From the amount of toys, furniture, sexy performances and seminars. We noticed there are several seminars throughout the weekend including some with Dr. Jess from Playboy’s Swing! With seminars such as: Squirt The Secrets of G Spots and Female Ejaculation, Going Down and Keeping Her Coming Back For More & The Pleasures of Anal Sex how could we not be excited to attend this event?!? 

Our summer wasn’t entirely vanilla. We were able to catch the entire new season of Swing on Playboy TV. There were some very hot scenes, hot new couples and situations that definitely lead to some sexy times both during and after the show in our bedroom. We noticed that Holli & Michael weren’t on this season and it was a bummer not to see them. However, after hearing them explain the reasons why on the Curious Couple Podcast, we can understand. Hopefully they will be able to make the show next year? 


Be sure to check out the promotional video for the Everything To Do With Sex Show below! 











Would you ever consider appearing on a TV show about the Lifestyle?

Would you ever consider appearing on a TV show about the Lifestyle?

We started wondering how many people would feel comfortable appearing on a show that is related to the swinging lifestyle? Obviously there is the more known show Swing on Playboy TV which personally we really enjoy and has really taught us a lot of how the lifestyle works compared to other outlets. Looking forward to the new season starting June 20th!
Then there was the show Secret Sex Lives: Swingers that was on Discovery Health Channel in 2013. This was decent and did show a lot of the dynamics on how being in the lifestyle effects other aspects of your life (spouses, feelings, family, etc.) This show didn’t show any sex which was fine. But one thing we don’t understand is why this show and the more recent show on A&E Neighbors with Benefits have to focus on the religious aspect of swinging. The Discovery show had a couple that met with their pastor and he knew what their secret was. He made the lady feel like shit on a number of things, including an upcoming wedding and being faithful. We may touch on religion on another blog post in the future, as this stirs up some strong opinions!
The most recent show Neighbors with Benefits on A&Elasted only two episodes before the network pulled the plug.See A&E Cancels ‘Neighbors with Benefits’  Personally I (Mr. Swanilla) only saw the second episode and watched it alone while doing laundry one night. I was looking forward to the first episode as a re-run and watching the show together with Mrs. Swanilla. I won’t bother commenting on whether the show seems scripted/fake or trying too hard. There is enough going around Twitter on that aspect of the show.

Canceled after only 2 episodes

Based on some of the twitter comments and comments on various web pages, there are a lot of people that bring religion and god into the bedroom. They had an overly religious couple and of course parents who disapproved and said ‘you were raised better than that with God in your life‘. Granted both shows were either based in cities in the bible belt or in more conservative areas. Curious as to why the show lasted an entire season on the Discovery Health Channel and not even to the third episode on A&E?

This lead us to wonder how many people would be comfortable on a show about the lifestyle? Whether on Playboy TV’s Swing, Discovery Health show or the Neighbors With Benefits, or another show that may be in the works? Then we wondered about how many podcasters or bloggers in the lifestyle would feel comfortable being on one of these shows? 
Many of our favorite podcasters/bloggers already have an audience that listens/reads to their views on the lifestyle on a regular basis, so on one hand it seems like it would be a nice compliment. Of course many in the lifestyle regardless of their podcast/blog prefer discretion or anonymity.
Speaking of podcasts and blogs, we have enjoyed many new ones in 2014 & 2015 including the blog Our Room or Yours? blog and podcasts We Gotta Thing, The Curious Couple, Swinger Diaries, and SapphicSwingers. All of them are great and enjoyable and bring a familiarity that other podcasts have, but also their own unique spin. For example, Sapphic Swingers podcast consists of couple Tiffany & Rachel who are a married lesbian couple that are in the lifestyle. They discuss how they got into the lifestyle, how they met and how they only play with other women. They have talked about guys saying they would show them how to love cock again. It’s a fun podcast with great content and humor. I started thinking they would be a unique couple to join the cast of Swing on Playboy TV. I mean they are there as a married couple, only play with women and it could add to some nice dynamics in the red room for sure!!!!
Mrs. Swanilla and I have talked about this a few times, and we know being on a show isn’t for us for many reasons. One is we are still learning about the lifestyle and finding our comfort levels. It isn’t something we discuss every day or even every week. We also do like the privacy aspect and being discreet is something we do prefer. From both a personal preference and a workplace/professional setting. However, if I had to pick, I personally would prefer to be on Swing, just because it’s on the Playboy Channel and the chances of as many people seeing it are smaller compared to a vanilla network channel.

Fuck like your being watched!
I did tell Mrs. Swanilla that I would love to attend the swing house or a house party like the show someday, without the cameras of course. Our only experiences have been in swing clubs which have been great! I am curious about house parties and if we were able to go to a setting like what is presented on the show with a handful of like minded couples just to learn more, experience a night in a controlled/discreet setting and meet potential sexy friends then I would be interested. Of course what is presented on TV may very well be different than reality. Perhaps we are naive in that area??? 🙂
So would you appear on a show based on the lifestyle? If so, which one? Or do you have an idea of another type of show that hasn’t been developed yet? Leave a comment below or tweet us @BeyondRbedroom 

Do fantasies have to come true?

Happy New Year! Hopefully you had a great holiday season and fun new years!

We wanted to post a quick question/topic for everyone and throw it out there to perhaps get some feedback or a discussion going. This will be part of another topic that we will touch on soon and did post a link related to an article on sexual fantasies.Would love to hear back from you guys! 


Do fantasies have to come true? If not all of them how do you decide which ones are okay to bring to life & which ones are better left in your mind (both as a couple or individual)? How do you decide which ones are okay to bring up to your partner? Are there any fantasies that took longer to bring up to your partner than others? Have any fantasies back-fired while bringing them up or while acting them out? How many of your fantasies have come true vs. not? 

Drop us a line via email or on twitter and let us know your thoughts.


10 Ways to Bring Fantasy Into the Bedroom

Studies show couples who regularly indulge [in sexual fantasy] tend to have a solid, happy and pleasurable relationship.”


Getting Your Fantasy Started
The next hurdle would be to tell your spouse that you want to share fantasies during sex. Here are 10 simple steps to get you started:


1. Start small, go slow. Successfully integrating new ideas into your regular love making routine need to be brought in gently.

2. Think of a simple, neutral (i.e. not too exotic) fantasy. Like the FedEx guy delivering a “package” or you meet a stranger in a bar.

3. Practice saying the fantasy out loud. Yes, this may seem tedious yet if you’re not used to talking dirty or sharing your fantasies, it’s best to have a few practice runs; that way you don’t feel tongue tied when it comes time to share.

4. Test the waters. During your next sexual encounter, say to your spouse, “Want to hear my naughty fantasy?”

5. Wait to get their permission. If they seize up and get upset, don’t take it personally. Often introducing something new makes people feel they are sexually inadequate and will put them on the defensive.

6. Respect their reaction. If they don’t want to hear then you need to pull back and move on.

7. Share your fantasy. If you get their permission, tell them your fantasy.

8. Roll with the fantasy. Expect your sex to become incredibly hot.

9. When the endorphins have settled, do a follow-up. After the sex, ask how they liked it and would like to do it again.

10. Don’t pressure them. If your spouse isn’t comfortable sharing their fantasy, don’t pressure them. Think of this as your sex specialty; what you give to the sexual experience.

Remember, the first few times you try adding fantasy to your lovemaking, there’s bound to be flub ups. Give it some time before it feels comfortable. After a while expect fantasy-inspired sex to be times to look forward to.

If you are among the very brave, take the fantasy from between the sheets and act it out. I find Halloween is the perfect time to “go public” with a fantasy—as everyone is expecting you to dress up and act differently anyway.

Couples report that Halloween has turned into their favorite holiday because they can completely let loose; that the build-up of adventurous energy leads to amazing sex.

So is it realistic to bring fantasy into your bedroom? There’s only one way for you to find out.


As always a nice song for background music while getting your Sexy Swanilla on! 

Our First Halloween Lifestyle Party

Some Treats & a few Tricks……

Seeing how it is almost Christmas, we figured it was good to post about our first Halloween party at a Lifestyle club. We actually had this post ready to go in draft mode, but life took over before we could add a few pics & edit it before we sent it out.

As we made our way into fall a few months ago we started talking about possibly attending our first lifestyle Halloween party. 

As we reviewed our calendar and talked about what it may be like we started getting very excited.  We knew we wanted to attend the same club that we have before – The X Club in Toronto for a few different reasons, mainly being familiar with the place and being comfortable. Knowing that Halloween is the biggest party in the lifestyle community we were excited and a little nervous. First was to decide what we were going to dress as. We looked at some very hot outfits online and decided to go as a Sexy Flight attendant & Captain! I was Captain Hugh Jorgan per my name tag!

Not Mrs. Swanilla but her costume!

We arrived at our hotel and noticed a few other couples arriving about the same time. Many just had that ‘look’ that they were attending the Halloween party! As we were checking in, the hotel staff was helping another couple and they said out loud “Oh you’re here for the Halloween party, have fun tonight!” Once we settled in and relaxed for a bit we had our pre-game conversation about what the evening could bring. Again, never any expectations with each other but it’s always nice to have that time to bring up the what if’s, to make sure we are both on the same page for the evening.  We knew we were in for a treat when we left our hotel room and headed for the lobby to grab limo service to the club. At first Mrs. Swanilla thought she may be a little revealing in her sexy flight attendant costume. Once we were in the lobby and saw fellow club goers in their sexy costumes, that all went away! There were plenty of others that were revealing a lot more, that had a lot of confidence and playfulness. As we waited for about 15 minutes with others, we chatted with a few other couples. There were probably 15-20+ couples waiting in the lobby. Everyone was so nice and approachable. It just seemed very normal to be waiting with others that were all like minded people, regardless of their comfort level that were just dressed sexier than normal. In reality there wasn’t a lot of lifestyle talk while waiting. Some dirty jokes, sexual/dirty comments among friends, along with drinks flowing and laughing. Honestly, we felt very comfortable.

Not Mr. Swanilla 

The week of the party we realized there was an annual event in Toronto called the Everything to do with Sex Show (ETDWSS).  http://everythingtodowithsex.com/  Twitter @The_Sex_Show 
We were bummed we found out about it so late as we would have loved to tweak our trip so we could have been there for 1-2 full days to enjoy the show. They had a wide range of sex products, seminars on various topics with celebrities such as the lovely Jessica O’Reilly (from Sex with Jess & Playboy’s Swing) as well as Michael & Holli from Playboy’s SWING. Being on twitter a lot we noticed some tweets from Michael and Holli that they could be at the X-Club as they were at The X-Club booth at the Sex show.
Sure enough, the minute we walk into the club, right at the bar is Michael & Holli. We said hello and introduced ourselves, told them we enjoyed the show Swing very much and how the show has helped us learn and grow into where we are now. They were impressed we drove from Michigan for the party and said ‘that is dedication!’ They were both very nice and approachable and it was fun having them be the emcee’s/guest hosts for the big event. There was an area that night with the X-Club logo that you could take pics with them or other sexy couples to have fun with the various costumes. We chose not to take any pics for many reasons, but mainly we enjoy being discreet. 
Michael & Holli 

As we made away around the club it was just a sea of sexy people! From the staff to the guests just a lot of sexy costumes and people. We noticed a hot woman probably in her late 20’s dressed as a unicorn. Once we realized what she was dressed as we looked at each other and were like “niiice!!!” There were a few costumes that made us scratch our heads a little. Saw a few guys dressed with lots of blood and a monster theme. Nothing sexy or attractive about it all and we were unsure on the thought behind that. We noticed a few couples that looked scared and very nervous to be there. If anyone is ever unsure if they should attend a lifestyle club we would recommend Halloween not being your first time. It just seems to be a lot to take in for a first timer. 

After we grabbed a drink we noticed a few couples near the photo area. So we started chatting with a few couples and one asked us how long we had been in the lifestyle. They like us have been dipping their toes in for a couple years and learning their comfort levels. They were fun to talk to and told us how they ended up at Lifestyle party near U of M while in Michigan.  So if the Buffalo, NY couple are reading this, drop us a line, it would be fun to stay in touch.

After we chatted with a few people, we decide to head to the dance floor. The place was packed and we had a great time on the dance floor!!! We both danced and really enjoyed being so close and physical with each other on the dance floor that it became incredibly sexy – even for the two of us! We were able to leave our daily lives behind for a nice evening and just connect in a sexy way. That’s what it is about anyway. Having a great time with each other in a sexy environment and if something else happens or an opportunity is upon us/presents itself, then we would take it from there. 
Overall, we had one of the best times in terms of being with each other, dancing, and talking to a lot of people. It felt so comfortable and familiar to be there and just approach people and have them approach us. Halloween is so much easier to do this, as people compliment each other’s costumes all night so it’s a quick ice breaker “I love your costume!” can naturally turn into “is this your first Halloween party here?” to “How long have you been in the LS?” to ‘We’ll find you on the dance floor in a few minutes”.

After a little bit as we were on the dance floor having a great time, Mrs. Swanilla looked at me and said “would you like to go to the back?” I was somewhat surprised as it was earlier than I thought we would. We headed to the back and I was up for the open play area so we could be seen and watch several others or a private room. I was down for either and told Mrs. Swanilla to choose what she was comfortable with at the time.

Now at this club, if you go to the open area, you head to the locker room first, strip down to a towel and head to the open play area. If you get a private room, you can change in your room. So sometimes you may see couples with little to no clothes on while they make their way to the open play area or fully dressed as they make their way to a private room. We had never been to a private room alone as a couple. The last time we were in a private room, it was with another couple. Read about that experience here (New Experiences)
We started to get undressed and started kissing on the bed. Now remember, when the door is closed it is closed for a reason, even if you are in a room with a window. As I started to go down on Mrs. Swanilla she was still in her costume and enjoying it. After a few minutes we switched and she was going down on me. I whispered to her as a few sexy couples slowly walked by, they were watching. This really turns us on and gets us hot. Knowing that other ‘couples’ are watching and getting turned on by us. A few minutes later as we started to fuck – I had her bent over the bed and took her from behind. As we were enjoying ourselves, we noticed these two guys walk by. Then a minute later they came back and were watching/staring in a less than hot way and we noticed some obscene gestures, facial expressions, etc. – needless to say it killed the mood! Mrs. Swanilla had a minor freak out/ WTF moment when these douche bags were staring and left what seemed like an eternity later. She apologized to me and said “I can’t do this with these guys here”. I told her it was okay and just to calm down. She knew I had her back. Before we decided to call it, she calmed down and asked me if I would like a blowjob? Since I was ‘ready’ to go, I wasn’t going to turn her down!!! She gave a great blowjob and had her back turned to the window. After we finished we got dressed and took a few minutes to focus on ourselves in our room, talk for a few minutes and just bring our smiles back. We decided to go out, grab a drink and just dance some more.

Tricks – not Treats!

As far as the two douche bags, we weren’t exactly sure if they were there alone (single males) and thought it would be fun to go watch people in the lifestyle fuck? They both were fully dressed and we didn’t see any women with them. So they may have each had a girlfriend or spouse they were with, but it seems highly unlikely. It seems many guys would act more classy and polite if they had their spouse/date on their arm while they watched. Not all, but just seems that has been our experiences.
After we grabbed a drink and were on the dance floor, we noticed a couple that we had smiled with earlier in the night. He was dressed as a scuba diver and we just chatted for a bit on the dance floor. They were such a nice couple. They were from there in Toronto and we talked about traveling in the lifestyle. He and I were cracking jokes within minutes of chatting. They told us they had been to lifestyle clubs and resorts in Vegas, Florida and Desire of course. I told him we were looking into Vegas as I wanted to take Mrs. Swanilla there for her birthday next year. They asked us how old we were, and their response was “you guys are in your thirties? You look so good, what do you eat?”  My response was ‘each other, as much as possible’!!!

They were such a fun a couple to talk to, that it felt very natural and fitting to talk to. We never had a moment where we thought it would lead to something else with them, but they were just nice to talk to and honestly, if we lived closer to them, they seem like a cool couple to stay in touch with. Grab a drink with, crack dirty jokes with without having to worry if you would offend someone with a sexually charged joke. I told them about our twitter & blog here so if you guys are reading this be sure to message us and say hello! 
At this point the dance floor was heating up very nicely. We were going to grab another drink and noticed a small crowd/jam off to the side of the dance floor. As we got closer, we noticed a hot lady standing on the dance floor with a very sensual look on her face as she was looking down. Turns out, another girl was on her knees going down on her on the dance floor as the two guys held her up. Not one to shy away from something, we decided to walk by slowly as we both enjoyed the view!

We danced and got so hot for each other that about an hour or so later, the mood struck again and I asked Mrs. Swanilla if she was interested in heading to the back again? So we headed to the back and this time got a private room without a window. We both loved being in private at this point and it was nice to reconnect after a less than hot experience just a little earlier. So as we started playing, we could hear everyone in rooms next to ours as well as the open play area next to us. Having mirrors all around us was really hot as well! We fucked and we fucked hard! Mrs. Swanilla looked great with a little of her costume still on while being 99% naked! It was such a different experience compared to earlier in the night and it also showed what the right environment and situation can play a role in a fun time! Even with each other, as you don’t always have to play with others or even make your way to the open area. It is okay to just have a fun and hot night with each other and let others hear you screaming and moaning as you have multiple orgasms!

We did notice that as the night progressed we noticed a couple that were pursuing another couple on the dance floor. Sometimes if you don’t find that connection or just aren’t looking for anyone else that night, it is fun to just watch how others interact. From both a sexual and lifestyle perspective – almost a way to take some mental notes for your own use someday. In a vanilla club it is so prevalent and common to be hit on as everyone there is single for the most part. If someone hits on a woman that is taken, things could usually lead to guys arguing or turning into alpha males. However, we have always thought it is not only a compliment to be hit on, but the fact that others find us attractive, sexy or even fuckable is also a turn on for us. If a guy (or lady) tells Mrs. Swanilla that she looks sexy and compliments her, I don’t see that as a threat. It’s all how you present the compliment though. In a sexy and classy way. I would be more skeptical if we were at a vanilla dance club and a guy hit on her. Just something about a lifestyle club where there are more manners, a little more class. Maybe many lifestyle friendly couples have been listening to a lot of lifestyle podcasts or reading blogs have picked up on how to behave?!?!

As we noticed this couple flirting with another couple, they were grinding/dancing and noticed the two girls were kissing, then the couples were kissing their different partners. So it was hot to see things progress with them. However, out of nowhere three people (two girls and a guy) more or less pushed their way into the 4-some/flirting/kissing on the dance floor, to where the two new girls were kissing one of the original girls, and the other couple were whispering and had a look on their face like “what just happened”. So we aren’t sure if they cock-blocked them, or it was all welcoming and lead to perhaps a more-some in the back. But from our perspective it looked like a mood kill. 

As we got back to our room, we were exhausted and got into bed about 2:30am. We were awoken at 4:30am to our neighbors just moaning in a nice and sexy way. We could hear them starting out and next thing we knew, we just hear her screaming and their bed just going crazy!!! Knowing our floor was full of sexy swingers this wasn’t at all surprising. On our way out a few hours later we noticed a sexy pair of fuck me shoes in front of their door! 


Kind of goes with the “you know you are at a swingers party when……..”
The next morning we got ready and grabbed some breakfast at the hotel. I didn’t realize it at the time, but there was a couple that we had chatted with night before a few tables away as we were finishing up. I only knew them with their costumes on but Mrs. Swanilla recognized who they were. We didn’t approach them as everyone looked a little rough the next day and we were just 15 minutes from leaving for a 4+ hour car ride back home to Michigan. But they seemed nice and who knows, maybe they are reading this!?!
The following day it was very surreal. The drive home was very enjoyable, listening to some fun podcasts, some lifestyle based and some others we enjoy. We had great weather, no bad traffic, and sacrificed sleep to get home faster. However, as we slipped into our normal vanilla lives when we got home, there was such a nice afterglow. Just being among other people and the public in general at local event that day, it was nothing but smiles on our faces and thinking about our fun night. Looking at other couples and whispering to each other “You think they are in the LS?” or our simple version “Look to your left would or wouldn’t?” when we see someone that is hot!

Our ‘weapons’ for a fun weekend!

Funny story, when we approached the border at Sarnia Ontario/Pt. Huron Michigan, we handed the immigration officer our passports and answered a few questions, including do you have any weapons? Thinking of the toys in our bag from our dirty minds we just said no.

One of the last questions was the border patrol officer saying  “You mean to tell me you guys drove all the way to Toronto for one night?” After we left Mrs. Swanilla said next time we should be honest and tell them when they ask  “We went to a Swingers Lifestyle club and since Michigan doesn’t have any upscale and classy clubs or allow any that are Lifestyle friendly we make trips regularly to Toronto!” 

Then watch the look on their face. I mean we are doing nothing illegal, not bothering anyone and ethically and morally we enjoy ourselves so if the agent had a problem with it, that’s on them! Who knows maybe they will go home to their spouse that day and say “honey I have an idea“. 

Overall our first Halloween party really was a lot of fun! Everyone looked very sexy and it was such a nice time just being with so many like minded people. It was one of the first times where we weren’t nervous and just let things go and realized we are all there for the same thing or some version of the same thing. Everyone we saw was very non-judgmental and we wish there was something similar closer to home. Even 1-2 hours away to make it easier to attend. We have talked about attending again next year or possibly another club. It would be great to line up the Everything to do with Sex Show next year and make it a longer weekend with more fun!

Have any good stories to share about your first time at a lifestyle Halloween party? Please feel free to drop us an email or leave a comment below!

As always, we like to post sexy songs that we enjoy and have gotten us in the mood! This is a great song to have playing while things are heating up!!! Very sensual!